rhythm bandits

Posts Tagged ‘chicago red stars

WPS: All-Stars and a Nice Hot Cup of STFU

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While the WPS All-Star Starting XI may be a collection of very good soccer players, some of whom are legitimately All-Stars, the roster as a whole is not.

I could get into a rant about players who are better than Allison Falk, but I won’t, because I would just sound like the Chicago Red Stars fans who are throwing a snit over the lack of Red Stars in the lineup. Of course the finished product is a steaming pile of bullcrap, but for reasons other than the fact that there are no Red Stars.

Dear whining Chicago fans (because not all of them are whining, I am sure): Because your team hasn’t been WINNING anything, of course the voting system will ignore you. Why are you so surprised? Once you start winning more games, then you can call back and leave a message. (As if anyone aside from Kate Markgraf truly impressed thus far!) Get over yourselves and don’t justify your snits with ridiculous claims such as “Engen is better than Buehler!” Because that makes you sound stupider than the tweens who voted for the bullcrap.

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Written by teamongolia

June 9, 2010 at 10:04 pm

WPS: Another Truest Tweet

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This week’s Truest Tweet:

WPS follies: Brittany Klein goes from being an all-star to surplus needs in less than half a season.

This is a direct repercussion of Saint Louis’ folding, as it appears Klein was removed to make way for a Athletica-contracted player, Anita Asante.

While we are on the topic, I suppose there are people who say Klein was an All-Star among the talent level of 2009, but not 2010. Or that she may only have shone in Emma Hayes’ system, which is now moot because Hayes has been sacked. These opinions are, at best, unfair bullshittery. That a talent on the caliber of Brittany Klein no longer has a home in Women’s Professional Soccer is revolting, and the blame lies not with Klein’s supposed inferiority to Katie Chapman, but with those stinking bastards responsible for the Athletica’s demise.

Written by teamongolia

June 8, 2010 at 6:25 am

WPS: Rumors Sell Like Peanuts, Popcorn, Cracker Jack

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Pop Quiz!

Which is more likely?

Rumor #1: Jorge Barcellos has taken the Chicago Red Stars job.

Rumor #2: In order to stay afloat, Athletica will be playing all road games.

Rumor #3: The league will make an announcement about this tomorrow.

I think #3 is well out of the realm of possibility…

Written by teamongolia

May 26, 2010 at 6:33 pm

WPS: Hanging Out With Entitled Whores

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So what most people are worried about this week in Women’s Professional Soccer Land:

  1. The Chicago Red Stars needs a new coach. Emma Hayes was booted just now. I mean literally just now, because there wasn’t a peep about it to the unwashed masses over the weekend. If I didn’t love the Fighting Irish so much, I would encourage Marcia McDermott to hire someone to kidnap Randy Waldrum and make him the head coach of the Red Stars until Jack Bauer comes to the rescue.
  2. Saint Louis Athletica might fold. I don’t care for Saint Louis as a team, and clearly their organization/ownership was generally shoddy, but it’s no good for the league at all no matter how much I wish it weren’t so. Already people are spreading rumors that a third WPS club is in trouble. If Ms. Marta is to blame, someone may have to storm the WPS headquarters in San Francisco and take hostages until we get sensible people into the business, or until Jack Bauer comes to the rescue again.
  3. I suggest to the big whiners to carry out the strategy I outlined in #2. If they want answers that badly, then get them. Throwing snits in front of other people who have no say in the matter doesn’t help anything.
  4. P.S. I don’t actually watch 24.

Written by teamongolia

May 24, 2010 at 11:44 pm

WPS: Let’s Play WPS Fantasy, Week 4

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To be quite honest, I am getting discouraged by my continual failure at WPS Fantasy. I was in the negatives last week, but I will keep plugging away in hopes of winning a jackpot…like that’s ever going to happen. I knew I should have put Dew back after the first week.

In: Ella Masar, Angie Woznuk Kerr

Out: Karen Carney, Kosovare Asllani

The Kaz-Woz substitution was a whim and I have no explanation for it. Kosaroni is injured (broken rib), so I put in Masar, who is my favorite “Stupid American” because of the antics she pulled while playing with Team Strømmen FK in Norway.

Written by teamongolia

April 30, 2010 at 6:08 am

WPS: #DYT Is Only Fun If It’s Rude

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Dear my friends, there are several topics to address today so let’s get started. From serious to specious:

  1. Carli Lloyd’s Injury. The nice thing to do is to wish Carli Lloyd a speedy recovery, because having broken body parts is quite unpleasant, and of course we can’t forget her admirable loyalty to Hope Solo. However, Sky Blue FC (or, as a certain wit calls them, “Sky Poo”) should be happy that Lloyd is out of commission, because that means there won’t be so many giveaways in the midfield. This is not good news for FC Gold Pride. (I repeat: NOT.) FCGP might just get beat by a Lloyd-less Sky Poo, because no matter what the USA Women’s National Team fangirls tell you, the last time Lloyd was ever any good was in 2008. We know that Becky Edwards or Carrie Dew can hold the ball better than Lloyd can, but without Lloyd some of the bets are not off. Like, what if Miettenen actually lights a fire under Yael Averbuch’s lazy ass?
  2. Jim Gabarra Is An Idiot. I must give him credit for keeping the heart and soul of the team (i.e., Sarah Huffman and Lori Lindsey) when the Washington Freedom made the jump from the W-League to WPS, thereby promoting team loyalty — at least for 2009. Then it all went to pot when he traded Lindsey away, benched Alex Singer, played Sonia fecking Bompastor in defense (defense!) and refused to release Briana Scurry. Of course, pertaining to that last bit, Kati Jo Spisak’s example is a ray of hope for Meagan McCray.
  3. If Connect World Football Were Any Good They’d Give Us More Kerri Hanks Updates. I’m just saying. The majority of the hits this blog gets comes from people who want to know where the hell she is. And I feel bad when I can’t deliver.
  4. New Talent. I really like the person who commentates on FC Gold Pride’s home match highlights. She actually injects emotion into them. I think she should replace Rogondino and Hildreth. Y/N?
  5. GERBER® GRADUATES® Needs To Sponsor Kate Markgraf. I think that speaks for itself. Buy more Wagon Wheels!
  6. Megan Rapinoe’s Illness Is A Mafia Plot. Why else does she have meningitis one day and mononucleosis on another? It’s the Chicago Way. See? [/capone]

Written by teamongolia

April 27, 2010 at 9:33 pm

WPS: Let’s Play WPS Fantasy, Week 3

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I will be gone all weekend for a wedding and will probably miss all of the games. Not that I care about this week’s matchup, but it is nice to have soccer to watch.

Anyway, this week I’ve changed my formation to a 3-4-3; it’s clear that the WPS Fantasy deck is stacked against defenders — stupid assholes — so I put Becky Edwards back in, as I remember Edwards doesn’t really play in defense and could likely nab more points for me than a regular defender. Unless she goes and gets yellow-carded again…

I continue to hold fast to my faith in Brittany Klein and Kelley O’Hara. It paid off for me last week with O’Hara, now I’m just waiting for the Red Stars to get going.

In: Karen Carney, Becky Edwards, Holmfridur Magnusdottir

Out: Amanda Cinalli, Kate Markgraf, Brittany Taylor

Written by teamongolia

April 22, 2010 at 6:52 pm