NCAA: Christen Press is really good at acceptance speeches

I guess she has to be because she’s, like, a communications major.

Now I don’t like wearing dresses — but we should give all the dresses in the world to Christen Press, because Lordy me, she wears this one very well. Press has such good carriage, she’d make a barrel look like haute couture (well, a barrel is often better looking than the tripe those so-called “designers” put out on fashion week).

Press — there’s just one thing I’d like to say about your speech, I know you were just being polite and all, but — while Melissa Henderson is a Natty Champ, I wouldn’t say that Alex Morgan had a particularly successful season. Unless you count saving the “Natty Team’s” ass as a success, which I guess maybe you do…

Anyway. Here’s to a successful first pro season for the young lady outta PVE.

(hat-tip to The Practice Field)

USA Women’s National Team: Are we serious? Yes A-Rod, we are

First of all:

This is my reaction to US Soccer insisting that Kelley O'Hara is a midfielder and therefore did not deserve to be in the video below.

And by the way, don’t let the title of this video fool you; it says “Young Guns”, but this video is actually about Abby. Because there’s no other reason why they would mention her every two seconds.

WPS: So, like, the 2011 Draft was today

Seriously.

And I have Strong Opinions.

1. I see this list of drafted people. Where’s Megan? (Jesolva, that is)
2. See #1. Lori Walker was going on and on about Lauren Barnes’ being only 5’4″ and yet having upside, which, by the way — that description fits Jesolva as well.
3. Um, so Oklahoma, have you been doing something and not telling me? Two draftees? Because usually you’re better known for your men’s gymnastics team…
4. Oregon’s Jen Stoltenberg. What a pleasant surprise; I hope she does well and makes the roster.
5. Dear WPS coaches, don’t you realize that Kylie Wright and Lauren Barnes simply cannot function without each other?
6. See #5. It’s the same with Sinead Farrelly and Meghan Lenczyk. There needs to be trading between ATL and PHI, please.
7. See #1. I know ten WPS teams who missed out: the six who still exist and the four who don’t.
8. Wasserman Media Group, which, through clever acquisition of other sports agencies, represents some big-name male soccer players— such as Steven Gerrard and Park Ji-Sung — is the agency that now represents Alex Morgan. Round of applause, please.
9. I try to remind myself that the last rounds of a draft don’t really matter, but it doesn’t stop this one from being a farce.

Then I went home and pan-fried some marinated pork.

UPDATE (1/23/2011): Jesolva has been signed away to the Atlanta Beat. Treat her well, Atlanta, or Soulja Girl will threaten legal action.

USA Women’s National Team: Ringing in the New Year

What better way to the ring in the New Year 2011 (and bring in the blog search hits) than with Alex Morgan? (Don’t answer that.)

Question: Why? Answer: Because I can.

So without further ado:

The electronic version of Alex Morgan’s ESPN The Magazine blurb (small picture) (Note that the magazine is the January 10, 2011 edition)

A bigger (less flattering) preview, but I do love the beanie

And of course the highlights video that has Morgan’s own stamp of approval (the massively annoying song that plays during the middle portion of the video is Kat DeLuna’s “Unstoppable”):

Now for the somewhat anticlimactic 2011 WPS Draft next week! As per protocol I will wait for everyone else’s previews and then complain about them.

NCAA, WPS, etc: Oh what will the New Year bring

Now we turn from promoting Christen Press to other countries (since Pia doesn’t like her) to discussing what is next for this blog.

I have always posted on whims, and I doubt that will change in the upcoming New Year. In fact, I may post more infrequently (I do have a life outside of this, shockingly), unless WPS, the USWNT, and the idiot fans (and their blogs) piss me off more than they already do.

Soccer-wise, the highlights of the year were certainly

1. FC Gold Pride’s glorious last season
2. Lauren Fowlkes getting her NCAA championship ring
3. Alex Morgan being awesome
4. Watching Notre Dame in person

More than I could have asked for, really — considering there was so much to regret and dislike. But that would take pages.

Anyway — Happy New Year, everyone.

NCAA, etc.: Search terms for Christmas!

Because it is almost the end of the year, here are the top 10 search terms used to find my blog since its inception in January:

Why yes, I am a badass, and this is my badass blog.

Bryane Heaberlin verballed to North Carolina, which makes me want to punch someone in the mouth.

Also, now that we know the Hermann Trophy finalists, I will just say that Christen Press deserves the Hermann Trophy and if she doesn’t win it, I will cry foul.

NCAA: Mariah Carey is a Popular Choice

Amanda Laddish said that the Fighting Irish sing this song in the locker room:

The Cal Bears sing this song when they return to Berkeley from away games.

Katie Finley, formerly of the Stanford Cardinal, did an ASL video almost like this one. Probably cuter.

And then we can’t forget this song. Being the Christmas season and all.

NCAA: Get your Hermann Trophy semifinalists right here

Q: So who’s in contention for the Hermann Trophy now?

A: Cassie Dickerson, Crystal Dunn, Sinead Farrelly, Adrianna Franch, Katy Frierson, Sarah Hagen, Melissa Henderson, Bianca Henninger, Kristen Mewis, Alex Morgan, Christine Nairn, Christen Press, Sophie Schmidt, Katie Stengel, Ingrid Wells.

Dr Dibble’s prediction that Sydney Leroux and Ali Hawkins would be in contention ended up being wrong. Not that either of them deserved to be in contention, anyway. Leroux can score for sure, but she was hardly as dominant as she was last year. What stuns me the most is Christine Nairn’s inclusion and Lauren Fowlkes’ exclusion. Alex Morgan shouldn’t really be on this list either, but I suppose being on the USWNT has its perks. (Once again, I have to remind you people that I always support Alex Morgan, I’ve been a fan of hers since November 2008. That doesn’t mean that I think she deserves every award under the sun, like UNC thinks it does.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this award is Christen Press’ to lose. I would love it if Sarah “Badass” Hagen won it, but pretty sure she’s just there as a background extra.

P.S. I received a blog hit from somebody who wants to know if Christen Press has been called up to the national team. No, I do not know. Call Pia and ask.

USA Women’s National Team: Can Twitter Save Your Ass Like Alex Morgan Can?

I wasn’t asked to respond to this, but I will anyway.

Can Twitter save women’s soccer? My personal, heartfelt answer is, well, HELL TO THE NO.

At least not now. And not so soon. It’s hard to be optimistic about any sort of “Pro-USWNT Campaign For the Common Man” when people don’t know that Mia Hamm isn’t playing anymore. It’s all her damn fault for being so dominant!

As I was saying. Ahem. Yes, Twitter is a wonderful platform to get people to notice things. Hell, I only heard of who Justin Bieber was because his name kept popping up in the Trending Topics section. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t looked him up on the All-Seeing Google Machine. And now you will be sorry too!

I dare you to listen.  I DARE YOU. And I bet you won’t be able to get that earworm “Baby, baby, baby noooooooo” part out of your head.

But the people who are hashtagging #USWNT right now are basically just an echo chamber; you’re going to need a bigger echo chamber — a much bigger echo chamber — to get it trending. People who don’t care (and there are many of them!) will continue to not care. The only hope to get new fans on Twitter is to catch people who are curious/bored enough to figure out what “USWNT” stands for. I’m not even sure how likely that’s going to be. The USWNT just isn’t as popular as Justin Bieber (despite Amy LePeilbet’s attempts to trick preteen girls into thinking that she is Justin Bieber so that they’ll come to Boston Breakers games). Not to mention…what if they play crappily and lose? Will people ever want anything to do with them ever again? [/korean drama]

The lone encouraging thing I see on Twitter in this regard are random people loudly declaring their newfound crushes on Alex Morgan and watching a game just to see her. (By the way, she’s spoken for. Sorry to burst your bubble.) The Cross-Conference Collector asked, “Or it’s about Alex Morgan. Who can say, for sure?”

DUH IT IS ABOUT ALEX MORGAN, IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT ALEX MORGAN. BOW DOWN TO THE PRINCESS ALL YE UNWORTHY PEOPLE, YES YOU TOO A-ROD!!!11!!eleventy!!1!

Despite my cynicism, however, I still encourage you all to tag your tweets with #USWNT early and often. If not for the terrible awful horrible stagnant USWNT who is playing shitty soccer, then do it for my fellow Golden Bear, Alex Morgan! The echo chamber will never grow if we just leave it be.

P.S. I will be gallivanting in New York City on the 27th and will miss the game. Joy.

NCAA, USA Women’s National Team: Here we go Irish!

That is for Alex Morgan, because Kings Of Leon is apparently among her preferred music artists.

• Quite frankly, everyone’s said it. The USWNT sucked. Her Serene Highness Alex Morgan scored a goal that made me puff up with Cal Pride, but did not do justice to how crappily the USA was playing. Ironically, Lloyd wasn’t behind most of the suckage: it was two former Florida Gators (AHEM) who had the worst performances of the game, in my opinion.
• I don’t understand how anyone can cheer for the Evil Clones Tar Heels. They got what they deserved, which was a 4-1 crushing at the hands of Rose ‘Laser’ Augustin and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. There is no such thing as a heart breaking for the Tar Heels, because people who say their heart breaks for UNC don’t really have hearts at all. Or are just bandwagoners.
• Granted, the Irish still have to face a surging Oklahoma State — which is completely ridiculous because now people think Adrianna Franch is better than Bianca Henninger.
• If you actually think  Adrianna Franch is better than Bianca Henninger (like Top Drawer Soccer apparently does), you’re an idiot. Certifiable.
• Kerri Hanks popped up in UND’s interactive liveblog during the game. That made my day! Even more so than all the Twitter people throwing themselves at Morgan’s lovely feet and worshiping thanking her for saving the USA’s ass. You’re welcome, guys.